One thing my journey to becoming the best person I can be has really drawn my attention to, is just how many unnecessarily hurtful, rude, arrogant and conceited people there are in the world. A lot of these people don’t even realise just how much their behaviour can affect the people around them and it scares me that I won’t be able to protect Leo from such people.
I’ve always struggled with mindless cruelty, verbal or physical. I hate the thought of people laughing at the expense of another and as a result, I am very easy to wind up. I then see it as my short fall that I bite and it suddenly dawned on me that that is bullshit.
I had an incident yesterday where a man I know, took banter (which I have no issues with) to another level and was just plain rude to me. I bit and was pretty abusive back. I’m not proud of my response, I spent the whole afternoon and evening beating myself up for reacting so badly. After talking to Tom and another of my friends about it, I realised that actually, whilst not an ideal response for me to have, it was him who was blatantly out of order.
When I first met this guy, I didn’t warm to him, but as I have been working on myself and how I interact with people, I made an effort to put that aside. Tom also has a friendship with him and I didn’t want to get in the way of that. What I know, and have always known, is my first instincts about people is normally pretty accurate. I’ve given him a fair chance and he has now abused that and I am done.
I will tolerate him, we share friends so I won’t jeopardise that, I am undecided if I will bother to confront him on it, but I will never let him negatively affect my space ever again. I have the choice to not let people like that into my world, and that has now been exercised.
There are many people I meet that I see struggling with themselves, to improve on things they see as impediments and I salute these people. It’s the blinkered narcissistic arseholes that I will not make time for and for the first time ever, I feel whole heartedly justified and will not feel bad for being that way, regardless of whether or not they think it makes me a dick. They will make no special dispensations for my personality, so I certainly will not for theirs and my personality is far superior to theirs. I know I make an effort to improve the life of people I interact with, I don’t think he could say the same, if he ever even cared.