Observation

It’s been too long since I’ve written anything.

This weekend we’ve been away in Lincolnshire for the funeral of my uncle and to see the family for the first time since December. The time since then has flown by, Leo seems to have some sort of time dilation effect on me and I’m sure he has the same on Sarah.

Yesterday Leo wouldn’t settle in his travel cot, I think because he was already too tired and had got himself worked up so I picked him up and bounced him to sleep like we’ve been doing a lot recently to help him whilst he’s been ill. Once he’d fallen asleep, which was pretty soon after I’d picked him up, I sat on the bed with him and just studied him: the veins in his eyelids; the little crinkle around his nose when he was going to sneeze; the tiny dimples and marks in his skin.

It seems like forever even since I did that, but I really enjoyed just taking the time to really look at him, rather than observe his actions or play with him or chat to him. He’s completed the relationship that Sarah and I already had together, and life is wonderful. I am a very lucky man to have them both, and I tell them this every day.


The funeral was emotional and a glorious celebration of Dave’s life. He was a very happy and contented man when he passed away, and I believe that I’m in the same position he was. We saw his family a lot over the weekend and spent time with nearly all of them. Again, the first time in a long time that that has happened. I was really close to Rob growing up and it seems ridiculous that friendships can drift around for so long when you’ve been such good friends for your whole childhood. Seeing him with his own family today made me realise that he hasn’t changed, he’s still warm and generous and funny, and it was great to see.

Driving home gave me a lot of time to think about how good life is to so many people and how nice it is to be able to appreciate those good times whilst they happen.

As ever I have no conclusions to draw from any of this. I’m just happy.

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