Yesterday was incredibly stressful and I don’t get how Sarah manages to do anything at all when I’m not here. Even joking about things not getting done now seems poor taste as it was just horrible seeing Leo so upset for so long and not having any clue as to how to help him through.
One really nice thing about being so delayed was that we got to see the Vulcan on its farewell tour around England. It flew over Woodford Aerodrome where it was originally based and we got to see it banking.
Even the night was stressful. I woke up having dreamt that Sarah had left me for another guy. Urgh. The worst part was the guy was skinny. Basically the worst thing ever.
Being objective when I’m stressed is one of my worst weaknesses. I can’t see past the stress to see how things are actually going, and it’s something I need to work on as pretty much everything to do with helping out with Leo, be it changing his clothes or driving him around, stresses me out because I am not coping very well with him being upset. Probably time to talk to my guru (Sarah) about how to implement coping strategies.
Every time I get to spend some quality time with Leo I basically just melt. He’ll sit there looking up at me and smiling, dribbling and giggling and I’ll just start crying. He’s so wonderful and I’m so privileged to have both Sarah and Leo is my life.
Also I bought some new shoes.