I think I have been a little naive in thinking that I could get to this point without having a wobble, so its probably a good thing that it happened now and gave us chance to address it rather than the moment I go into labour!
It has all stemmed from the fact that little baby Burgin has chosen to turn from an ‘ideal’ Occiput Anterior position to an Occiput Posterior position and there is a lot of press around this position,, but then I guess there is a lot of shitty press around labour in general that I have worked so hard to get out of my head.
I noticed he had moved almost a week ago and the midwife confirmed that last Friday. I tried to not let it eat away at me, we have been trying different methods to encourage him to turn back and I am so far, no results.. In fact, this morning he has turned even further around as I can feel him booting me in my sternum.
It finally broke me down and I have had a little cry and admitted my fears to +Tom and got it off my chest. I was feeling terrified that I was letting everyone down, terrified that I was allowing fear to get a grip of me and ruin the experience that we have been looking forward to so much. I was trying so hard to ignore it that instead, I let it sew a seed that has been growing.
I have found a great article from a very insightful midwife and she explains that a lot of the time, the issue with misconceptions behind the situations, generating fear and panic and therefore, making the birth tense and uncomfortable. She also points out that less than 5% of the babies that present in this position, stay in this position once the labour begins.
I know better than most that burying your fears and pretending they don’t exist is fanning the flames and that, as the cliché states; a problem shared is truly a problem halved. Tom has been brilliant and really helped me through, I now feel back on track and emotionally and physically capable of facing whatever comes our way.
Watch this space, he is due today so anything can happen!